I have never felt it was a good idea to discuss my religious beliefs with anyone. However, the other day I found myself in a conversation about this very subject with one of my MD colleagues. I have been asked to return to caring for women during childbirth, the sanctity of which I cannot possibly overstate. This will likely be my Swan Song as a midwife and it’s important to me that I do it the way I believe it should be done; with boundless faith in powerful, directive forces I have never been able to see but have always been able to feel and hear. As our conversation progressed and I disclosed more about my spiritual beliefs my colleagues’ lid circumference expanded, he shifted ever-so-slightly in his chair, and cleared his throat – he somehow knew to prepare for the unexpected. Sure enough it arrived when the following confession stumbled from my mouth: “Fetuses talk to me and this helps guide my medical management.” To his credit he graciously paused and asked me to give him an example. I happened to have one in the ready and while he listened attentively, I could tell he simply didn’t know what to make of this and perhaps more urgently, what to do with it. He admitted – as he twirled his index finger around his temple like a pinwheel – that what I was saying sounded like pretty crazy stuff. For all intents and purposes, I had just told him I make medical decisions based on command hallucinations. He then asked: “Do all fetuses talk to you or only the ones that have something important to say?” I didn’t have an answer for him, which I am sure made him all the more wary. I have no idea where this will whole plan will end up. He and my other MD colleagues may not be up to working with a midwife whose medical management is guided in part by the voices of the unborn. I am prepared to accept this should it be the eventual outcome. But as we approach the winter Solstice, a season that requires us all to take a “leap of faith” that the long nights will transform into longer days, I suggest you take a moment and consider the role that faith plays in your own decision making; you may find you’re more religious than you realized.
May faith abound for you, help guide you, and allow you to hear voices from within.
© E. Resh, 2014.