Despite the fact that we’re nearly 15 years into a new millennium, when it comes to masturbation we seem to still be in the Dark Ages.
Many women I counsel about sex feel and believe that masturbation is only for men, or people without a sex partner. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, research about self-pleasuring habits has revealed that men and women in couples are more likely to masturbate than single people. So why the blushing and nervous giggles whenever someone mentions it? Because few people find it easy to talk about ANY kind of sex and this is what causes the red-face and reticence when conversation turns to sex on our own steam.
Masturbation is a powerful tool for happiness and gaining traction on a positive body image, especially for women. Touching ourselves gives us lots of information about what we like, what we don’t like, how powerful our bodies really are, and ideas about how to expand sexual pleasure – on our own or with a partner. And, what about vibrators; no discussion about women self-pleasuring would be complete if I didn’t mention them. Here’s the most important thing to know; they’re great, and don’t worry about becoming dependent on them – no one ends up in vibrator rehab. Lastly, if you’re a woman who is worried that your man will feel displaced by or jealous of your favorite toy, then you best make an appointment with me. Vibrators are tools of enhancement – not tools of substitution. There’s no such thing as a “substitute” for your real partner – really. Vibrators can expand our choices, add to our pleasure, and be especially helpful to post-menopausal women and those on anti-depressants. In both those cases, having an orgasm can be more difficult due to a reduction in circulating estrogen and testosterone. What we lack in hormones we can compensate for with more horsepower.
Women and their male and female partners alike need to rethink the value of self-pleasuring – for many reasons. Whether in a relationship or not, masturbation is a normal and healthy aspect of sexual expression. The benefits are many and the pleasures? Well, see for yourself.
© E. Resh, 2014.