REVIEWS FROM READERS
From an Amazon reader
Women, Sex, Power, And Pleasure: Getting the Life (and Sex) You Want (Paperback)
I don’t normally read a lot of self-help books. Well, unless you count celebrity memoirs and cookbooks as “self-help.” No? Okay, then I don’t read a lot of self-help. So I guess I was expecting something different, like fluffy affirmations to “be your authentic self” or “find your inner sparkly vampire goddess” or something. That last one might have been from Fifty Shades of Grey (which is NOT a self-help book, FYI). But I was surprised by how straight forward, intelligent, relatable and, well, helpful this book was. With chapters like “I’m Too Fat to Have Sex” and “Becoming Your Own Activist” I felt author Evelyn Resh was almost speaking to me personally. How did she know I felt that way? How did she know this was just what I needed to hear? I guess it’s partly because she’s a smart, feminist professional who knows what she’s talking about, and partly because a LOT of women feel just this way. I almost hate to admit it, but I almost cried when I read some parts of this book, they were so familiar.
It’s not an easy thing to talk honestly about our sexuality, particularly for women–like me–who are not twenty-five, childless and supremely confident in our sexual expression anymore. There are a lot of reasons why things change as we get older and our lives get more complicated, but that doesn’t make it easier to discuss. So I definitely see the value of books that help broach those subjects. I’m just so glad to have found a book that actually discusses women’s sexuality in an intelligent and helpful manner, rather than one that condescends, coddles or infantilizes the reader by talking about “the girls,” “your flower” or, ugh, “your cookie.”
Evelyn Resh’s book is no-nonsense and sincere. Even if you can’t personally relate to every thing she says (I’m not at menopause age myself, so the chapter on menopause was, for me, still just theoretical) at least you won’t feel insulted by how she says it.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book free from Hay House for review purposes. I was not obliged to write a favourable review. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
Cary – New York
A terrific read. Resh calls on her decades of experience as a sexuality counselor and a nurse-midwife to offer friendly, helpful advice to women who may have lost their sexual mojo. Her funny, yet authoritative tone is a refreshing change from the deadly earnestness of many books about sex. If your life has become one big to-do list, this book is for you.
Funny, insightful, useful March 18, 2013
A terrific read. Resh calls on her decades of experience as a sexuality counselor and a nurse-midwife to offer friendly, helpful advice to women who may have lost their sexual mojo. Her funny, yet authoritative, tone is a refreshing change from the deadly earnestness of many books about sex. If your life has become one big to-do list, this book is for you.
Relevant & important for all women & couples to read!, March 6, 2013
By Gayle Olson –
Sex, Power & Pleasure opens our eyes to the real and intimate issues modern women face in their sexual lives and the relation with our overall sense of happiness. Evelyn Resh outlines the issues she sees in her practice as a sex therapist and midwife; making a strong argument for the importance of pleasure and sexuality as they relate to our emotional well-being and overall happiness. I am finding the book very interesting and thought-provoking, and plan to use it in my programs I lead with women. Thank you Evelyn for this important book!
Evelyn Gets it Right!!, March 1, 2013
By J. Fallon
Evelyn Resh captures what every woman is thinking……………. ”what happened? where did it go? what if? can I ever get it back?.” Her inimitable style, wit and solid understanding of what happens to women as they move along the timeline of life, is refreshingly honest and a duly satisfying read. She gives every woman permission to be who they are and to achieve what they need in life. Evelyn brings it all back to her signs of emotional well-being, which are solid markers for where you really are on the continuum of pleasure. Every woman over forty should read this book as it will enlighten and illuminate the path through aging and an understanding that age has NOTHING to do with pleasure. Run don’t walk to get this book!
Fantastic – Honest and FUNNY!
By Gayle Kabaker
I saw myself in so many places in this book. I left it on my kitchen table and my husband picked it up to read it. He laughed – he cried – he was very moved by it. This is NOT just for women. If you can get your man to read it – do it!
The Book I’ve Been Hoping to Find for Parents of Teenage Girls
Achieving milestones like learning to walk and talk are familiar stages of child development. There are countless books to help guide parents on what to expect. There are other areas, such as our daughters’ sexuality between the ages of 11 and 18, where helpful guidance is in short supply.
Girls this age often work overtime at looking cool and grown-up despite being works in progress. They are often seeking validation from their peers at a cost that can leave parents frightened or angry.
There’s also the music they love, the movies they watch and the magazines they read–all which speak to their sexuality. And even if your daughter were raised in a cultural vacuum, her maturing body and the hormones in her veins would be their own agents of change.
Yet as parents, we often deny our daughters’ emerging sexuality or make it clear that we expect them to deny it. Fortunately, Evelyn Resh’s book for parents of teenage girls addresses this disconnect. It offers us more effective ways to deal with our daughters’ sexuality, including the use of humor to diffuse situations rather than threats or pretending it’s not an issue.
Ms. Resh has spent years working with teenage girls, helping to guide their growth when their parents were not able to acknowledge the sexual milestones they had reached.
I’ve long searched for a book for parents of teens that would address these very issues, and now I’ve found one that I can wholeheartedly recommend. Whether you agree with Ms. Resh’s perspective or not, this book is helpful because it frames the sexuality of teenage girls in ways that actually make sense.
Kristine Morris | ForeWard Reviews
Practicing sexuality counselor and mother of a daughter, Evelyn Resh seeks to help girls and women of all ages to accept, understand, and enjoy, rather than fear their sexuality, and to reassure mothers about the normalcy and importance of the physical expression of love and sexual desire in the lives of teen girls. Resh found that the girls she treated in her practice didn’t have the information and support they needed to deal with the powerful changes that were transforming their bodies and brains. They needed information to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases, poor body image, habits of self-mutilation, eating disorders, and unwanted pregnancies.
Resh suggests that restraining adolescent female sexuality leads to a situation in which “we ultimately cut our daughters off from realizing their power as fully integrated and sexual women who can move with ease between their various realms of activity, seeking their own pleasure, and forging their own happiness.” Although she directs her words to mothers, her work should also be read by fathers, who are often equally concerned about and even less well-equipped to deal with their daughters’ blooming sexuality. Teen girls would also benefit from a study of the concepts discussed by Resh, as even the most forward-thinking parents are likely to have reservations about accepting their own daughter’s desire to be sexually active, and dispassionate discussion of the topic in the home is all too rare. To aid in further research, Resh has included a list of informative books, Web sites, and films, as well as questions at the end of each chapter to provoke reflection and discussion.
Evelyn Resh is certified as a sexuality counselor with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and holds a Master of Public Health Degree from Boston University School of Public Health. She practices integrative midwifery and gynecology, speaks nationally, and is currently the director of Sexual Health Services and Programming for Canyon Ranch Health Resort in Lenox, Massachusetts.
Honest, revealing, fearless, and at times surprising, Resh’s book confronts issues of female teen sexuality and individuation with respect and understanding while acknowledging the pain these issues can cause for parents and teens themselves. Whether or not one agrees with her conclusions as to the role of sexual activity in teen maturation, her work is a valuable resource for those facing the turbulent teen years.
How to talk to your teen or tween daughter about sex: The Secret Lives of Teen Girls
by Abiola Abrams | Examiner
Books about sex and sexuality were instrumental to me as an adolescent because my mother was not comfortable discussing sex. Luckily, between her copy of Our Bodies, Our Selves and the fabulous Judy Blume I was able to cobble together some semblance of what was happening with my body by the time the sex ed educator at my all girls’ school unrolled a condom onto a banana. Sexuality education is important to self esteem, physical health and emotional well being.
Louise Hay‘s Hay House Publishing has a new offering on this front.
Evelyn Resh, author of The Secret Lives of Teen Girls: What your Mother Wouldn’t Talk About But Your Daughter Needs to Know is currently Director of Women’s Health and Sexuality Programming for Miraval resort in Tucson, Arizona. Resh was also the former Director of Sexual Health Services and Programming for Canyon Ranch Health Resorts for 10 years. She even writes for Oprah.com but most importantly she is the mother of a teenage girl.
Evelyn Resh explains that despite the feminist revolution and the sexual revolution, women of her generation (early 50s, I believe) are still making the same mistakes their mothers made when it comes to the sex education freeze out. The Secret Lives of Teen Girls gives ways to get daughters talking at an age when no one wants to hear what their parents have to say. For example, Resh suggests asking specific questions rather than saying, do you want to talk?
I don’t have any children but if I was the mother of a teen daughter I would find this book helpful. Evelyn Resh stresses that she is not pro or anti teen sex, but pro information. She even made a controversial decision to allow her 16 year old daughter’s boyfriend to sleep over in her home. Find The Secret Lives of Teen Girls: What your Mother Wouldn’t Talk About But Your Daughter Needs to Know at Hayhouse.comor wherever you buy books.